Was I at a wedding last night, if so are we still friends, story

17 Jun

Nothing but class

Well it’s nothing unexpected; as we get older more and more of our friends start tying the balloon knot. And if you’re like me, you have a butt load of weddings to attend/have already attended this summer. Weddings are in some ways a double edge sword. I mean, sure they’re a blast (if you can remember them), but they also cost you an arm and a leg. I mean why should I be expected to give you $120, to help pay for your soon to be needed divorce lawyer? Sorry, I digress…

Like many of you little lush’s (you know who you are. Yeah, you!) I look forward to the mouth watering, hard on giving, infamous OPEN BAR. Fuck what meal I need to choose, I’m looking forward to a steady liquid diet for a night. Gin and Tonic, please and hold the ice or it will end up everywhere because that’s just how I roll.

The whole wedding scene is very humorous if you think about – people from all walks of life that are somehow connected to the bride or groom (or bride and bride/groom and groom) gather together to eat too little, drink too much, act like they can dance, but instead look like children with down syndrome chasing butterflies, then, as the night goes on lose all inhibitions and regret everything past ten o’clock. Sound familiar? Yeah it happened to me a few months back as well. I drank enough to kill an entire class of kindergarteners, blacked out, grabbed a set of golf clubs from my buddies’ car and proceeded to walk out to the 18th green and hack away. Apparently, that is.   I then somehow made it back to the hotel where I walked right past the wedding party, up to the room and passed out on the floor (there were beds and couches and all). When I woke up in the morning it looked like I had just been swimming in a barrel of red wine. Side note: I had no idea I was drinking red wine. I can only imagine what I looked like to the rest of the group when each pint glass I got was soon catapulted down my throat like I was stranded on a desert island and minutes away from death. Anyway, enough about me, I could go on for hours regarding the stories I hear about myself, but this isn’t about me. It’s about you slowly, but surely becoming out of control alcoholics and your appreciation for the true love and, well, open bars.

Now this topic just seems so appropriate right now considering I just returned from an amazing wedding in Vancouver. And as I said above, I’m sure a few people might regret their actions from a certain Burger King parking lot… But, this blog is only rated R so I can’t go into the details.

Now I want to hear from YOU. Tell the world about your classiest night celebrating the coming together of two beautiful souls and holy matrimony. See, I can be a sap too.



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