NYC Fashion Do’s and Don’ts!

23 Jul

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It’s nothing new; living in a city like NYC you tend to see some extraordinary people out and about. Some have exceptional beauty. Some, well, some don’t. Today’s post is to celebrate those who have caught my eye, both in pure sexiness and pure wackness. Now please remember when reading this that not all of those who qualify for the beauty section aren’t necessarily normal, but they are “pretty” none the less. I don’t discriminate against crazy pretty people and neither should you!

Now, those of you viewers who are women might be saying, hey, this guy is sexist, there are no “do’s” with guy pictures. BUT, I have a great explanation for this. I’m sexist. Enjoy guys. Kidddddding…. girls are just much more risque then guys. Deal with it.

DO’s

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  1. Obviously this is not exactly a do, but I believe in constructive criticism and equal rights. I’m happy that we let our autistic children grow up and dress themselves. Especially when they have the goods
  2. I really hate hipster guys, and I was about to just write this off and make fun of this girl, but then I looked closer and realized that would make me gay.
  3. This girl, although her outfit is atrocious, her minds in the right place. But that bra is not. Why is that there? Man I wish I had telekinesis.
  4. I have no idea what this girl looks like, but I love her anyway. Note to self, place fans all over your floor and have a lot of girls over during the summer.
  5. Redheads + booze = horny cauldron of temptations. Maybe this devils spawn stuff is actually true
  6. I wonder how many stamps it took to get her here from Russia?
  7. I dare you to think she’s not attractive. I triple dog dare you!
  8. I’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day!!
  9. Ummm excuse me, your boobs are showing. No, not them, I mean the wack job behind you dressed as a space pirate.
  10. I have nothing witty to say to this.

Don’ts:

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  1. I’ve actually seen this douche hole in multiple bars around the city. Hilariously a friend of mine got him so rattled he got up out of his perverted sex cocoon and left the bar. He should honestly just be punched repeatedly in the junk for pretending this is art. Fuck I hate humans.
  2. Does anyone else want to choke this dude out with his own scarf? Oh look at me; I’m so original I dress like Alda Snow. This guys life for sure sucks.
  3. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps. I think my mother would love her to death.
  4. What kind of gypsy-sex-cult did these two boners crawl out of? I think I have a great idea for my next tattoo. Thanks, freaks.
  5. Fresh from the Jersey Shore. If you’re as roided out as this guy is, I’m pretty sure you can wear whatever the hell you want. It’s in the douche bag code of ethics.
  6. Introducing construction wear for the 21st century. My brain hurts.
  7. It’s nice to see people who go above and beyond. I mean have you seen drag queens lately? They’re all lazy, attempting to just throw on some sweats and put their weaves in a pony tail. It’s nice to see someone who is so into the profession. You go girl(ish) thing.
  8. Santa is fucking scary in the off season.
  9. I bet his dad wishes he thought of that.
  10. I don’t mind a little fuzz on the lip; she can get that waxed off, but this fucking lady looks like Grizzly Adams. He had a beard, remember!?
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One Response to “NYC Fashion Do’s and Don’ts!”

  1. carpetpuncher 07/23/2009 at 11:30 PM #

    I’m just happy I asked carpet roller if it was sexual to his face. Repeatedly. Then I asked his interns, who shrugged

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