Archive | November, 2009

Katie Couric is a Dancing Machine

24 Nov

So before this hits every major news outlet ever and turns into a ridiculous story about how Katie Couric has an alcohol abuse problem or that she’s an ungodly lesbian, I thought that I would post it and say, GOOD FOR YOU, KATIE! Before I just thought you were some drone that could seamlessly fuck up the political career of some untalented she devil of politicians with your Jedi Mind Tricks. Now I kind of want to attend a wedding you’re at so we can slug beers, crush the cans on our foreheads, then go push old people down stairs and throw water balloons into traffic. That’s what I call a party! Think you can hang?

The following pictures were taken at a wedding in 2006. Whoever leaked these is obviously a huge asshole and deserves 100 hammer punches.

P.S. is it just me or does Katie look pretty damn good?

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Funny Biz: Lookin’ Bro, by Mac Lethal

23 Nov

I’m not sure how this video never came to my attention prior to this day, but boy am I glad I stumbled upon it. Living in the NYC area you see a lot of huge douche bags with fake tans, insanely gelled hair, thin eyebrows, G-Unit wife beaters, Ed Hardy shirts, ripped jeans, fake diamond earrings. Fuck, the list could go on forever.

I don’t know who Mac Lethal is, but he maybe my new best friend for making such a perfect rap dedication to all these freakin douchers. If you hate guidos as much as I do then you’ll love the video. Does anyone know who to talk to about creating an honorary holiday? I want to start a ‘beat up a douche bag guido day’. It will be better than Christmas!

This just in, Mac Lethal is part of Rhymesayer which makes him way fucking cool.

Best President Ever: Vladimir Putin Loves Hip-Hop

16 Nov

There’s really not much I can say about this video besides WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Really? Russian President, Vladimir Putin gets down with the Hip-Hop community? I know that Russia has been talking about making steps forward as a culture to become more innovative, but I didn’t know that started with B-Boys and gangsta rap. Watching him in the audience is pretty priceless though. Dude probably doesn’t know how to rap a present. OHHHHHHHHHHHH that’s right, I went there.

Best or Worst Surgery Ever? Labioplasty

12 Nov

I would like to thank the perverted, undoubtedly male surgeon who thought this one up, because it may save thousands of marriages. I’m sure that this surgery is going to end up being a huge health risk in the long run, but as of now it just seems like a hilariously idea that I need to make fun of. The idea I am referring to is known as Labioplasty of course. According to recent research, operations to improve the appearance of the sex organs (in females) for both psychological and physical reasons are on the rise.

Now I am not going to just single out women here because I’m sure that men all over the world would like to have Penioplasty (I made that up) to make their Johnson look like a million dollars, but the fact is, this story is about the more beautiful species. Women!

It seems that the number of women having Labioplasty is on the rise, yet the numbers are unknown because the majority of the operations are performed privately, but last year procedures on the NHS increased by 70% on the previous year to 1,118.

Researchers from University College London who reviewed all the existing studies on cosmetic labial surgery – which generally involves reducing the amount of tissue that protrudes from the lips which cover the vagina. They found there had been little work to document any longer-term side effects. I can tell you what the short term side affect will be. More loving from the hubby.

According to the story in BBC.co.uk, Labioplasty costs about £3,000 ($6,000 USD) privately and is offered for a variety of reasons: some women complain that wearing tight clothes or riding a bike is uncomfortable, while others say they are embarrassed in front of a sexual partner.

Yeah, I believe the first one. Just like the women who get breast implants so their shirts fit better. POOR EXCUSE!

Now, I’m no doctor, nor am I god, but I would think that women who got this surgery would do so after having a child or two, but apparently that’s not the case. According to the report: It is now well documented that women who have undergone such circumcision are more likely to experience significant tearing and bleeding after labor and even the death of their babies, problems which are overcome by Caesarean delivery.

So are we to think that girls in their 20s are getting their vagina’s worked on? That seems a little absurd to me. I highly doubt that you find many, if any guys in there 20s or 30s who are going to turn down a woman because the way her vagina looks. “Hold on, let me inspect your labia. Sorry we can’t do this until you get that shit fixed.”

According to Dr. Sarah Creighton an expert gynecologist, “quality research is needed to improve our understanding of the psychological drivers behind women’s decision to sacrifice sexually sensitive tissue that contributes to erotic experiences, for a certain genital appearance that used to be an obligation only for some glamour models.”

Yet according Douglas McGeorge, past president of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons who pretty much calls Dr. Creighton a lying pansy; “They’ve gone a bit over the top. Essentially this is just about removing a bit of loose flesh, leaving behind an elegant-looking labia with minimum scarring. The procedure won’t interfere with sexual function.”

I am sure that some of you women who read this are not going to appreciate me writing this piece, so I apologize about poking fun at Labioplasty. I know it is a very touchy subject for some and I don’t want to make you run and do something stupid. The real point of this is just to state that most of you don’t need to do anything this ridiculous. I understand the want to look good and keep your youth, but let nature take its course. The female race is beautiful specie and you all should know it. No labioplasty or breast augmentation or lip enhancement or whatever else it is that you self-conscious women do will change that. Well all of those things might make you uglier actually so just embrace your natural beauty.

Now, on the other hand, ladies, if you have had a few kids and want to spark a new passion in your relationship then definitely go ahead and do this, but if young girls are doing this simply to have a perfect vagina, you are just dumb and don’t even deserve the organs you were born with.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8352711.stm

Worst drunk ever: Drunk Lady Vs. Boston Train

11 Nov

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Congratulations Boston, you have officially solidified yourself as the closest resemblance to Ireland yet again. This drunken stunt comes to you via the MBTA when a woman who probably drank enough booze to kill an entire class of kindergarteners wobbled her dumb ass over the train platform and fell onto the tracks as the subway cart rolled in. Lucky for the drunken woman, brave souls standing on the platform did absolutely nothing but wave their arms aimlessly at the conductor. Obviously flailing like a handicap person winning a medal would stop a train, right? Not so much. According to USA Today:

The driver of a Boston subway train made an emergency stop only inches short of a woman who had fallen onto the tracks and was stumbling and flailing around, the Associated Press reports.

Charice Lewis, the driver, had been alerted only moments before by a fellow MBTA employee who radioed her from the platform.

The hair-raising incident, with fellow passengers waving frantically on the platform as Lewis pulled the emergency brake, was caught on security cameras.

The woman, whose name was not made public, suffered some scrapes and was taken to a hospital for evaluation after the incident last Friday. She told authorities she had been drinking, the AP says.

According to the woman, she’s “wicked excited to be alive,” and is “going to head to tha bahhhh and grab ah beahhh.”

That’s actually not a direct quote, but I assume it went something like that. She is from Bahsten for Pete’s sake. Good job lady, I bet you fall off the curb and kill yourself now. No one gets that lucky without paying the price. Sorry, I didn’t create karma.



Worst Idea EVER: Twitter Peek

3 Nov

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Twitter Peek. Really? How stupid can a company be to make this thing? Better question; how stupid will some consumers be to buy this piece of shit marketing gimmick. Oh hey I love twitter so much because I’m a 50 year old virgin with no real friends and I live in my mom’s basement. I have a better idea for anyone who thinks this is a good idea. How about you and your Twitter machine walk into oncoming traffic?

This hand held device  is a one trick pony and does Twitter and nothing but Twitter and is hilariously priced at $199. I know a trick named Pony who’s cheaper then that and she’ll definitely make you twitter.

Executives at Peek Inc. of New York aren’t betting on the tech-savvy crowd apparently. Rather, they believe the Twitter Peak will interest assholes who like to waist money customers who own simple, inexpensive cell phones, yet still want to read their Twitter news updates and other tweets away from the desktop. Oh really? Not aimed at the tech savvy crowd? What is the Twitter crowd then? I have an idea; if you’re going to spend $199 for sex repellant BUY A REAL GODDAMN PHONE that allows you to “tweet”.

The Shitter Peek, oh I’m sorry, the Twitter Peek looks like an older (outdated) Blackberry and comes in a Twitter-style aqua blue or charcoal gray. Fittingly, it can chirp when a tweet arrives. It should also come equipped with a mouth guard and a jockstrap because you are going to get your ass kicked if you flash this thing in public.

Would you rather carry two devices of limited functionality around with you than one that can do multiple tasks? Uh, OK. Well, the Twitter Peek is designed for you, and only you, you moron.

Peek CEO, Amol Sarva says that this device is no better then the Twitter app on an iPhone, but that’s not the point. He argues that not everyone wants to spend $100 to $300 for a smart phone and another $30 each month or so for a data plan. Instead he thinks that people want to buy a phone, a plan and then on top of that spend $199 on a Twitter Peek. This guy is a real CEO or is he lost in a Maurice Sendak novel? This is why the U.S. economy is in the shitter, because tools like this.

Anyway, please, I urge you to buy this device so that I can belittle you some more. Oh and, Amol, please stop breathing, you’re wasting oxygen that real people need.

Seriousness: Exopolitics and Disclosure

3 Nov

Greeting Best Ever fans, today I have officially added a new category to the blog roll. “Seriousness” will come into play every so often so I want you all to get ready because I’m about to flex my mind muscles. I am warning you in advance, they are extremely large and sexy. I have a larger than average medulla oblongata. Or so the ladies tell me… Well, my mom told me I was special. That’s the same thing, right?

Anyway, this first blog is brought to you by a very good friend of mine who is extremely brilliant as knows his shit. I encourage you all to get your learn on and enjoy.

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Written by Simon Esler: Co-Founder & Managing Partner, ConvoNation, LLC.

Hello friends and family. There’s something that I need to talk about that many of you have probably wondered about because of some of my posts. I’m going to talk about the UFO/ET issue. It’s blatantly obvious to me that many of you are now rolling your eyes, or scoffing at me, or perhaps you have decided not to even read this far. Others have heard me discuss bits a pieces on the topic. I realize that many of you think the entire idea of UFO’s and ET’s as a legitimate topic of conversation is a hilarious joke, as it is so often treated in the mainstream media. Let me make one thing clear. I am completely aware of what something like this can do to people’s reputations, and I am completely aware of the ridicule and other such consequences that I may face for publicly approaching this subject. I WOULD NOT HAVE DECIDED TO WRITE THIS IF I DID NOT THINK IT WAS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE that I share this with the few of you who may look into this yourselves and make your own decisions, rather than being a victim of the extremely obvious psychological warfare tactics being employed through the mainstream media.

For those of you who know me well you may, hopefully, be aware that I am not a gullible person, and I don’t often rush headfirst into anything as absolute truth, and then find myself backpedaling to get out. I have to point out that I have been researching this topic regularly for over three years. From what I have found the evidence is overwhelming, and I am going to link to as much key information as I can in this note, however, I will happily provide more information for anyone who wants it.

One thing I want to begin with is UFO videos. I have seen a number of UFO’s myself. This term confuses a lot of people because they immediately think the implication is ALIENS. Not true. It’s just unidentified. That’s it. There is, however, evidence suggesting that some portion of these craft are of ET origin. What I think is really important here is that because of the current state of video and imaging technology, it has become impossible for any video to be proof of anything for the mere fact that people can always now claim computer generated!, unless you personally have some serious equipment to verify videos and images, just chilling in your room.

This leads us to the question: “If there was some solid evidence that there is an ET presence, and there is government involvement in the suppression of this presence, what would this proof look like?”

You need to seriously ask yourself, other than a personal alien encounter, what evidence would you consider? Using your personal judgment, and not an unreasonably skeptical attitude adopted from the news and movies, what evidence would you consider? This is an important part of the scenario, the difference between your ability to gather information, and discern some truth, and the attitude you have been trained to have towards this subject. I have asked myself this many times. The only answer I can come to is that it would have to be based on CREDIBLE witnesses.

What does credibility mean?

Take for example our legal system. We put people on trial for murder and if there is a credible enough witness or witnesses, we put people in jail, and in some places we kill them based on that credibility. As a society we have invested and incredible amount of trust in this system, and while it is not perfect, it is the system that has served us throughout much of our history.

Take as another example the military, specifically nuclear arms. There are people, who through our military systems, we decide are sane and capable enough to guard, manage, maintain and employ nuclear arms. These people have gained CREDIBILITY within our society and it is one of the ONLY things we have to rely on. If we have invested trust in theses people, so great a trust, that we leave them with the most dangerous weapons then that must count for something. This is the approach I have taken over the past three years. I began by finding all the people who were coming forward, and looking into their background, and then cross referencing their story with as many others as I could find. If a small number of extremely credible people attest to something that is backed up by a large number of average citizens who have not had the privilege of gaining legal, medical, political, or military credibility, then to me it is worth considering.

Dr. Steven Greer is someone who I have followed for a long time, and someone who I have developed a great respect for. His work presented me with the idea that you are invited to be skeptical, but not unreasonably so. This is essential when reviewing the things I am going to post. You have to understand that this topic contains and incredible amount of information and I can barely present you with a sliver of what is there to be found. Despite this being only a sliver, I am presenting you with over 3 hours of video to observe because I cannot see a summarized way of presenting this to anyone nor would I expect anyone to be intrigued in a genuine way with anything less. If you want to trust me enough to take some time aside to look into what I firmly believe is the most important issue on planet earth right now then please do and make your own opinion. Decide whether or not all of these witnesses are for some reason lying, collectively, and putting their careers on the line, seemingly with passion and sincerity. If you are feeling disgruntled about the entire subject, so much so that you are willing to dismiss it completely without being a responsible skeptic and looking into current, ever developing information, then that is fine. But please keep your decidedly uninformed opinion to yourself, as there is no point in having a discussion without BOTH sides, observing THE SAME EVIDENCE.

On Wednesday May 9, 2001, a select 20 out of over 400 military and corporate witnesses who have come forward, participated in a press conference at the National Press Club in Washington, DC to discuss the reality of UFO’s, extra-terrestrials, the technological implications, and the governments involvement within this realm. These witnesses each came forward with their own story on how they were involved in government and/or military work involving UFO’s and/or ET’s and how covering this work up was strongly enforced. Each of these witnesses has SWORN THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS ABOUT EVERYTHING THEY HAVE SAID. This press conference contains some astonishing information, and I assure you, is not something that is to help the careers of any of these people, as anyone who speaks out about this is subjected to an inordinate amount of scrutiny and ridicule.

As a direct example of the systems of credibility mentioned above, a number of these key witnesses were officers who’s responsibility was to maintain, and if need be, launch nuclear arms. These are not nut jobs looking to get airtime, or make money or trick everyone for some old time kooky fun. These are trained officers with clearance to watch over nuclear bombs!!! One of these witnesses speaks out in the video I will link below. Focus on credibility, and then ask yourself, can you really discredit The Disclosure Project (www.disclosureproject.org) and the 400 military and government witnesses who are demanding to testify in front of congress about the ET issue? Do you have the information to discredit such a massive group of people whose credibility is of the highest order?

Here is the link to this press conference. When you have the time to sit down and pay attention, without falling into the trap of shooting the entire thing down before you even watch it, please watch the press conference and consider what I said above about the systems of credibility we have in place in this society. http://www.netro.ca/disclosure/npccmenu.htm

I did not stop my research here. I decided that if there was disclosure events like this going on in the US then surely there must be some people with credibility in Canada supporting the same thing. Our former Minister of Defense, the Honourable Paul Hellier, was the first source I found of this kind. Some of what he has to say can be found here. Again, please consider our systems of credibility. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGyFWyNuF3s&feature=related

My search for locally based disclosure continued. In fact, living in Toronto, I was quite surprised to find something that had happened at a college near St. Claire and Avenue, about 20 minutes from my apartment. This was a similar press conference to the one held in Washington, which had, surprise surprise, little to no coverage in the mainstream media. I saw that this was not even being ridiculed or laughed at, it was simply ignored as if there had been no press conference whatsoever. It meant a lot to me to see some credible Torontonians backing this information up and publicly admitting that they have done the research and they will support this cause for the rest of their lives. That was enough for me to get behind the topic and I have been leading up to this note ever since. The link for the Toronto Press Conference is below. Again, consider credibility and use your own judgment, not that of a Fox News Anchor. This video is over an hour, so once more, set some time aside. http://tinyurl.com/yzazgu7

The next major set of circumstances that really solidified the reality of this issue for me was the number of countries who have now admitted that their governments were studying UFO’s and have decided to publicly release the files. This includes the British and French Ministries of Defense, and the Brazilian and Danish governments. Even though there was no media coverage on the subject, in 2007, Canada finally jumped on board. Here is an important article on the subject. http://www.allnewsweb.com/page9299794.php

They did so by creating this website: http://www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/ufo/index-e.html

Now you must remember that up until now, governments were refusing to even admit that there was a UFO phenomenon worth studying, let alone the fact that they were using taxpayers money to study them. Our money was being put into the study of UFO’s, and this fact was hidden from us until recently. This is a pretty crucial point, as governments do not hide such things for trivial reasons. Of course the USA has not officially admitted to anything of the kind, and as of right now the public stance is that it is simply not being studied and that all studies ended when Project Blue Book was closed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Blue_Book I find it pretty doubtful that Britain, France, Brazil, Canada and many others, are studying something that the United States of America is not studying to a much greater degree, and with a much much larger budget. It’s common sense to say that they must also be investing public money into this area and yet they admit nothing.

I have just dumped a huge amount of information on you all knowing that only a few of you may fully digest everything here. For those few, I encourage you, follow up on this. These are only bread crumbs and you are not expected to believe anything without discovering it yourself. Because of the amount of credible people now involved in this topic, DISCREDITING IT IS A HUGE TASK. If any of you think you can do so to any degree, then do the research and please let me know how you have discovered a way to discredit what is now known as the Exopolitics community. Of course there are going to be wackjobs littered throughout this community, but that goes without saying, and it is really the reality of any subject being studied. There are always those who are simply trying to get attention, but their egos should not discredit everyone else working on this subject matter sincerely. Many of the disinformation tactics used by the military and government groups trying to suppress this involve highlighting the wackjobs and idiots, and surrounding bits of truth with ridiculous stories so that everything is immediately dismissed without intelligent discussion. News stories on UFO’s constantly play the X-files theme in the background, or spooky music, which is a great, inexpensive way of discrediting the subject matter right off the bat. This is not happening in places like Mexico, where UFO sightings and ET encounters are treated as real stories that deserve to be discussed, and not used to ruin people’s lives or reputations. They are discussed in a straightforward intelligent manner. I cannot express to you how differently we would all see this topic if the mainstream, North American media decided to mimic this approach.

 

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