Worst Idea EVER: Twitter Peek

3 Nov

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Twitter Peek. Really? How stupid can a company be to make this thing? Better question; how stupid will some consumers be to buy this piece of shit marketing gimmick. Oh hey I love twitter so much because I’m a 50 year old virgin with no real friends and I live in my mom’s basement. I have a better idea for anyone who thinks this is a good idea. How about you and your Twitter machine walk into oncoming traffic?

This hand held device  is a one trick pony and does Twitter and nothing but Twitter and is hilariously priced at $199. I know a trick named Pony who’s cheaper then that and she’ll definitely make you twitter.

Executives at Peek Inc. of New York aren’t betting on the tech-savvy crowd apparently. Rather, they believe the Twitter Peak will interest assholes who like to waist money customers who own simple, inexpensive cell phones, yet still want to read their Twitter news updates and other tweets away from the desktop. Oh really? Not aimed at the tech savvy crowd? What is the Twitter crowd then? I have an idea; if you’re going to spend $199 for sex repellant BUY A REAL GODDAMN PHONE that allows you to “tweet”.

The Shitter Peek, oh I’m sorry, the Twitter Peek looks like an older (outdated) Blackberry and comes in a Twitter-style aqua blue or charcoal gray. Fittingly, it can chirp when a tweet arrives. It should also come equipped with a mouth guard and a jockstrap because you are going to get your ass kicked if you flash this thing in public.

Would you rather carry two devices of limited functionality around with you than one that can do multiple tasks? Uh, OK. Well, the Twitter Peek is designed for you, and only you, you moron.

Peek CEO, Amol Sarva says that this device is no better then the Twitter app on an iPhone, but that’s not the point. He argues that not everyone wants to spend $100 to $300 for a smart phone and another $30 each month or so for a data plan. Instead he thinks that people want to buy a phone, a plan and then on top of that spend $199 on a Twitter Peek. This guy is a real CEO or is he lost in a Maurice Sendak novel? This is why the U.S. economy is in the shitter, because tools like this.

Anyway, please, I urge you to buy this device so that I can belittle you some more. Oh and, Amol, please stop breathing, you’re wasting oxygen that real people need.

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One Response to “Worst Idea EVER: Twitter Peek”

  1. Aceezee 11/04/2009 at 3:46 PM #

    what the fuck is a twitter?

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