Best or Worst Surgery Ever? Labioplasty

12 Nov

I would like to thank the perverted, undoubtedly male surgeon who thought this one up, because it may save thousands of marriages. I’m sure that this surgery is going to end up being a huge health risk in the long run, but as of now it just seems like a hilariously idea that I need to make fun of. The idea I am referring to is known as Labioplasty of course. According to recent research, operations to improve the appearance of the sex organs (in females) for both psychological and physical reasons are on the rise.

Now I am not going to just single out women here because I’m sure that men all over the world would like to have Penioplasty (I made that up) to make their Johnson look like a million dollars, but the fact is, this story is about the more beautiful species. Women!

It seems that the number of women having Labioplasty is on the rise, yet the numbers are unknown because the majority of the operations are performed privately, but last year procedures on the NHS increased by 70% on the previous year to 1,118.

Researchers from University College London who reviewed all the existing studies on cosmetic labial surgery – which generally involves reducing the amount of tissue that protrudes from the lips which cover the vagina. They found there had been little work to document any longer-term side effects. I can tell you what the short term side affect will be. More loving from the hubby.

According to the story in, Labioplasty costs about £3,000 ($6,000 USD) privately and is offered for a variety of reasons: some women complain that wearing tight clothes or riding a bike is uncomfortable, while others say they are embarrassed in front of a sexual partner.

Yeah, I believe the first one. Just like the women who get breast implants so their shirts fit better. POOR EXCUSE!

Now, I’m no doctor, nor am I god, but I would think that women who got this surgery would do so after having a child or two, but apparently that’s not the case. According to the report: It is now well documented that women who have undergone such circumcision are more likely to experience significant tearing and bleeding after labor and even the death of their babies, problems which are overcome by Caesarean delivery.

So are we to think that girls in their 20s are getting their vagina’s worked on? That seems a little absurd to me. I highly doubt that you find many, if any guys in there 20s or 30s who are going to turn down a woman because the way her vagina looks. “Hold on, let me inspect your labia. Sorry we can’t do this until you get that shit fixed.”

According to Dr. Sarah Creighton an expert gynecologist, “quality research is needed to improve our understanding of the psychological drivers behind women’s decision to sacrifice sexually sensitive tissue that contributes to erotic experiences, for a certain genital appearance that used to be an obligation only for some glamour models.”

Yet according Douglas McGeorge, past president of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons who pretty much calls Dr. Creighton a lying pansy; “They’ve gone a bit over the top. Essentially this is just about removing a bit of loose flesh, leaving behind an elegant-looking labia with minimum scarring. The procedure won’t interfere with sexual function.”

I am sure that some of you women who read this are not going to appreciate me writing this piece, so I apologize about poking fun at Labioplasty. I know it is a very touchy subject for some and I don’t want to make you run and do something stupid. The real point of this is just to state that most of you don’t need to do anything this ridiculous. I understand the want to look good and keep your youth, but let nature take its course. The female race is beautiful specie and you all should know it. No labioplasty or breast augmentation or lip enhancement or whatever else it is that you self-conscious women do will change that. Well all of those things might make you uglier actually so just embrace your natural beauty.

Now, on the other hand, ladies, if you have had a few kids and want to spark a new passion in your relationship then definitely go ahead and do this, but if young girls are doing this simply to have a perfect vagina, you are just dumb and don’t even deserve the organs you were born with.



One Response to “Best or Worst Surgery Ever? Labioplasty”

  1. Nick 11/12/2009 at 5:37 PM #

    “They’ve gone a bit over the top. Essentially this is just about removing a bit of loose flesh, leaving behind an elegant-looking labia with minimum scarring.

    Anytime you can put the words “elegant” and “vagina” in the same sentence you have created something wonderful. That said, this procedure is comical and any man that is high maintenance enough to request this from his g/f is probably dating the wrong gender. Clearly the tone of this piece is comical, but its sad that women feel they need to do this.

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